Flashed Again...Click here for details

With money in my pocket and cotton candy in my hand, I hop away from my father at the carnival. At the wise and illustrious age of ten, I have earned the privilege of roaming the fairgrounds on my own instead of dawdling with the family. In one hour, I have to meet Mom and Dad and Chuck back at the Ferris wheel. I have a whole hour of freedom.

Dad gave me five dollars to spend anyway I want. Instead of losing it all at a game booth (rigged for profit, of course), I know exactly what I want to do. Skip the kiddy rides! Skip the funhouse! Those are for babies. I'm going straight to the wagon.

Every year, we've passed the gypsy wagon with the sign out front reading "Madame Zartha--Seer of All Things--Oracle and Truth Seeker!". Every year, I've tugged on the hand of my mother and dragged my feet. And every year, she has said one of the two responses: "Too much money!" or "The work of Satan!" But this year? This year, Madame Zartha is going to See into my future. I've been planning the questions for a week now. Will I have a boyfriend by the time I'm thirteen? This school year, will my bedtime get pushed back an hour? Can I get out of dish duty? Will I become a famous pilot? The questions are written on a pink piece of notepaper.

The wagon looms in front of me. Lucky me! There is no line. I will have an entire fifteen minutes with the madame, uninterrupted by other fair-goers. I have already calculated the worth of my five dollars--a card reading and a palm reading. Madame Zartha has a crystal ball in the window of the wagon but I am certain it is decoration.

I ascend the rickety steps to the wagon, excitement bubbling in my stomach. I throw the cotton candy onto the ground--no need for that, now. I pat my hair down and straighten my shirt. A voice calls from within, "Enter!"

The wagon smells musty and magical. It is the scent of cigarette smoke, liquor, and something a bit older--something indescribable. It is dark except for the dingy light shining through the dirty window. Madame Zartha sits at a tiny table. She is a short woman with black hair and a turban wrapped about her small head. Her nails are long and painted shiny red. Her weight is indeterminate, as she wears a long gown that puffs and gathers. I am a little afraid.

"Sit, child. You have the fare?" Madame Zartha's voice is not accented, as I imagined it would be, but is lustrous all the same. I press the five dollar bill into her hand and sit, eyes wide and lip trembling.
"You have come to hear the truth?" Madame Zartha tucks the money into a wallet on the table next to her. From here, I can see she has a moustache. I am entranced.
"Yes," I whisper.
Madame Zartha pulls my hand toward her and grasps it firmly, spinning it over, palm up. She stares into my eyes as she traces the faint lines with one hand.
"Ah. You are a brave girl to come here all by yourself," she says. "You have the heart of a lion."
I blush; she's right! It takes a lot of guts to walk around a fair alone.
She continues, still staring at me. "Great love is in store for you. You consist of fairy blood--beautiful and precious. But!" Her voice grew loud with warning, "You must protect yourself from those who would take advantage of your strength! There are those who would use you, then throw you away! Heed the danger!"
I gasped and nodded, scared of the terrible people out there who would hurt me.
"Your knight is strong. He waits for you, and sleeps with your face imprinted into his dreams. You must be patient; you will find him. Do not give up on his love." Madame instructs. She caresses a long line in my palm.
"You will succeed in all that you do. You will have to work hard, and not give up. Life will not always be easy for you. Sometimes, you will feel very alone and unappreciated. But you must keep trying! You are a chosen one--your life will make an important impact on those around you. You must know when to respect your elders, but you must also challenge old ways that stunt your progress. Be wise and wary as you go about life. If you do this, you will be happy, and loved." Madame Zartha speaks in a trance. Secretly, I am relieved: looks like I'll get to stay up later this year than last.
"The spirits are leaving me now, child. They leave me with one impression: you are a warrior-woman, beautiful and impressive. You are kind and charitable. You think before you speak. You never lie or speak without reason. People respect you. Your knight cherishes you. You shall be a pride to your parents and a gift to all whom you encounter." With that, Madame Zartha falls silent. She closes her eyes briefly, then opens them.
"The reading is over," she says. I stand, my shoulders back.
"Thank you, Madame," I state clearly. She regally smiles at me, and I turn to leave.

I step out of the wagon, feeling adult, mysterious, and beautiful. I turn to look at Madame Zartha one last time. She is hunched over the table, smoking a cigarette. She looks very small from here, and very alone. I turn and see my family striding toward me, probably 'by coincidence'. I walk towards them, feeling older and wiser than ever before. My mother smiles as I approach them.

"So, you finally got your wish, huh, Lizzy?" she asks.
"Yes," I say.
"And was it everything you hoped it would be? Did she tell you anything you weren't expecting?" Momma is pulling hair back from her forehead, and I see fine lines by her wide eyes.
"It was..." I hesitate. How could I explain how Madame Zartha allowed me to grow up in five minutes? How to explain the new truth of myself?
"It was everything I wanted it to be."

With that, I take my mother's hand, and we go to the Ferris wheel, where we will whirl into the sky and lose our breath at the expanse of the sky, and be quiet in the presence of clouds, hopes, and the warm sunshine.